I became a parent when I was 20 years old. Prior to getting pregnant, I had lived a very selfish, fairly irresponsible life. Feeling the life of another being moving inside my own body made me wake up. For me the transition into caring about myself came very quickly because I now had someone to channel all of my energy into other than myself. I decided right away that I needed to make some drastic changes. I set about learning about parenting from every book I could find and every parent that I knew.
I allowed myself room for mistakes but not room for giving up. I was determined to be a far better and more present parent than I witnessed in my own life. My daughter, Onyx 22, became the focus of my world. My son Macaihah 20, my daughter Lyric 13, and my son Lukah 11 all came into my life, adding to my joy of parenting. They are all healthy and I feel blessed for that, but we were certainly not without our extreme challenges.
My children came in two sets and I divorced both Dad’s when they were young, leaving me to the challenge of single parenting. Macaihah was born with really severe asthma, Lukah was diagnosed with ADHD (which I have a whole other story for!) and Lyric was far more intellectually mature than she was emotionally which made her a really tough toddler. Despite the things that came to the table, I knew that present, conscious parenting was the only answer for me.
Present parenting is a healing path to inner awakening and a way to create a brighter future for our planet. My children have been far greater teachers for me than any book or human being that has shown up in my life. Parenting them has healed me so deeply. I was truly able to parent myself alongside each of them. They all came with their own unique personality and I frequently had to adjust my parenting style to meet each of their individual needs. Sometimes I felt like a master juggler!
It wasn’t primarily that they were a challenge as a person, it was what they challenged in me that was rough. My children presented me with opportunities for growth almost daily, they still do. I chose to be present with them their whole lives and it has paid off. It was difficult at times, single parenting with a limited income. I worked while they were in school and chose to run my own business so I could be with them whenever they were home. We struggled, but we did it together.
They were and continue to be, the center of my life! I trusted them enough to be vulnerable and share my life with them, age appropriately of course! It created a trust and closeness between us that continues to grow by the year! It also paved the way for them to be vulnerable with me. I know their secrets, their passions, their dreams and their fears. Actively caring for and encouraging my children throughout their lives gave them a strong foundation. Today, I have four amazing, creative, intelligent, and conscious children. I also have deep confidence that they will choose to raise their children with conscious presence as well.
Please know that there is no faster way to knowing yourself than to have a child, but you damn well better be ready for it! Children challenge you deeper than any other spiritual path you could choose, to wake up and heal. Each of my four children showed me of a different aspect of myself. They each give me a deeper look inside a different place in me and each of them gives me a fresh perspective with which to view life. They have been such a blessing! Thank you Macaihah, Onyx, Lyric and Lukah for bringing me home to myself. I am deeply grateful and will always be in service to you.
Shefali Tsabary sums it up beautifully in this video on Youtube. Very wise words. Here’s the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM_PQ2WUD2k#t=17